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I Swear I​’​m Usually Pretty Good at This

from The Cardboard Swords by The Cardboard Swords

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lyrics

Here I am, trying to fight this urge again. I find I’m growing distant from my friends. You think twice, realize you only ever needed to think once, because it was 8 or 9 long, hard, stupid months. Full of grinding your teeth, and trying to be somebody you were not underneath. Now I’m far too concerned with who you are underneath, it’s hard to keep myself from wondering. If you’re not the same boy and it is so obvious, then why did you have to write it all down? If you’re not the same boy and it is so obvious, then humor me with who you think you are now. Do you think that he would be surprised to find her across from me, of all people me at this all night diner? What would it be? How would it go? Was it a lie or a stupid reminder of a guy who was leaps and bounds behind her? Some time wasted and spent? a connection that came and went? You are being dumb right now girl just ask your boy friend. I am being dumb right now girl, but what has changed since back then? I swear to god I don’t believe in this is stupider than we have ever been. Now I’m singing the same song all day long, because it is the only one I remember.

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from The Cardboard Swords, released November 6, 2015

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